EP 536 Why I Might Be the Worst Source of Success Mindset Advice — Challenging Authentic Success Habits

5 brutal truths about why you should ignore everything I say (and why that makes me the right mentor for your escape plan)
https://DarkHorseEntrepreneur.com/s6e536
Summary
In this episode, Tracy breaks the mold of typical success podcasts by revealing why listeners should question conventional success mindset habits. He shares 5 compelling reasons to ignore his advice, from lacking a classic rags-to-riches story to his ongoing struggles with productive mindset habits. This candid approach exposes the manufactured authenticity pervasive in the personal development industry, offering honest insights for corporate professionals planning their entrepreneurial escape. Through his personal failures and hard-won lessons, Allan illustrates how imperfect mentors can provide more valuable guidance than polished gurus flaunting impossible success stories. Tune in for a fresh perspective on authentic success habits and self improvement habits that can truly transform your approach to achieving success.
Time Stamps of Key Insights
00:00 - The problem with origin stories in personal development
00:30 - Introduction and Episode Overview
01:05 - The Truth Bomb: Personal Development as Fantasy
02:25 - The Pivotal Moment Story
04:20 - Reason #1: No Rags-to-Riches Story
05:20 - Reason #2: Failed More Than Succeeded
06:25 - Reason #3: Still Has a Day Job
07:20 - Reason #4: Doesn't Always Follow Own Advice
08:20 - Reason #5: Can't Promise Riches
09:40 - Intelligent Elevation: Manufactured Authenticity
11:20 - Whiskered Wisdom: Stop Looking for Perfect Mentors
Strategies Shared
The Anti-Guru Framework
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Challenge the Origin Story Myth: Question polished success narratives that seem too perfect
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Embrace Failure as Education: View setbacks as expensive but necessary learning experiences
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Value Transition Experience: Seek mentors who understand building while still employed
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Accept Imperfection: Recognize that consistency isn't about perfection, but about recovery
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Redefine Success Metrics: Focus on alignment and freedom over just financial outcomes
The Five Disqualifications That Actually Qualify
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No Dramatic Backstory: Relates better to professionals transitioning from success to meaning
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Multiple Failures: Provides real-world education that success stories can't teach
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Current Employment: Understands the practical challenges of transition
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Personal Struggles: Demonstrates humanity and relatability over superhuman discipline
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Realistic Promises: Offers authentic expectations over false guarantees
Mindset Shifts for Escapees
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From Rags-to-Riches to Riches-to-Meaning: Reframe the entrepreneurial journey for already-successful professionals
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Golden Handcuffs Recognition: Acknowledge that comfort can be its own prison
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Failure Reframing: See business failures as education investments, not personal defeats
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Imperfection Acceptance: Understand that temporary setbacks don't equal permanent failure
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Authentic Mentorship: Choose guides based on honesty and relatability, not just achievements
Resources Mentioned
Newsletter
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AI Escape Plan: Weekly newsletter for aspiring entrepreneurs and 9-to-5 escapees
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Sign-up: https://DarkHorseInsider.com
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Content Promise: Real strategies, honest failures, hard-won insights without hype
Action Steps to Take
Immediate Actions (This Week)
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Identify Your Perfect Advice Trap: Recognize one area where you've been seeking "perfect" advice or waiting for the "right" mentor
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Find an Honest Guide: Locate someone 1-3 steps ahead of you who's willing to share real experiences, including failures
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Reframe Your Story: If you're successful but unfulfilled, shift from seeking rags-to-riches inspiration to riches-to-meaning guidance
Ongoing Practices
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Question Polished Success Stories: Apply healthy skepticism to overly perfect narratives
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Embrace Your Imperfections: Stop using temporary setbacks as evidence of permanent inadequacy
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Seek Authentic Community: Connect with others building meaningful work while managing real-world constraints
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Practice Honest Self-Assessment: Regularly evaluate alignment between your work and your values
Mindset Shifts to Adopt
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Failure as Education: View setbacks as expensive but necessary learning experiences
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Progress Over Perfection: Focus on consistent forward movement rather than flawless execution
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Authentic Success Definition: Define success by alignment and freedom, not just financial metrics
00:00:00,163 --> 00:00:00,681
Oh my God.
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00:00:00,763 --> 00:00:03,818
You wanna know what really pisses me off
about the personal development space?
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Everyone's got a damn origin story.
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00:00:06,518 --> 00:00:09,763
They're all out there like, I'm broke,
I'm sleeping on my friend's couch.
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I was eating ramen noodles and
then I discovered this one secret.
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That changed everything.
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Here's the thing, I'm about to tell you
five reasons why you should probably
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ignore everything that I'm about to
say, and if you're still listening
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00:00:22,827 --> 00:00:27,218
to that, well maybe just, maybe you
are ready for the truth about what
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it really takes to escape the matrix.
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What is up?
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00:00:33,359 --> 00:00:33,795
What is up?
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What the hell is up?
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00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,602
My fellow success seekers.
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Welcome back to another episode
of the podcast, and I wanna
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get stuck right into it here.
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I, I'm not gonna be talking about,
Hey, this is what we talk about.
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You know, what we talk about around
here, and if you don't know what
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we talk about, 'cause this is your
first time, well then stick around
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and you're gonna learn it because
today's episode we're gonna talk about.
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Five reasons that you should
probably ignore everything.
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I'm about to tell you why I am really
the worst person to teach you about
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escaping the nine to five, and that's
exactly what makes me the right person.
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Yeah, first, first off, I'm
gonna be shattering the myth.
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You need to follow someone
else who has made it.
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He says, with air quotes, because most
of those success stories out there are
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just carefully crafted pieces of fiction
designed to separate you from your wallet.
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Second, you're gonna discover
why my biggest failures might be
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more valuable than anyone else's.
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Highlight reel and how the scars
from losing everything twice, maybe
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even three times, has taught me what
actually works in the real world.
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And then third, I'm gonna reveal the
uncomfortable truth about why I still
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struggle with my own advice sometimes
and why that makes me more qualified,
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not less to guide you through your.
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Transformation.
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Look, here's a truth bomb.
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That's gonna make some people
a tad bit uncomfortable.
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Most personal development gurus, yeah,
they're just selling you a fantasy.
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They're peddling you.
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The idea that success is a straight line
from broke to breakthrough, and all you
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need to get there is their $2,997 course.
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To unlock that secret.
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That's not just wrong.
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That's dangerous, ladies and gentlemen,
because it sets you up to believe that
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if you are not seeing instant results,
then you are doing something wrong,
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or worse yet you might be broken.
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Let me tell you the moment that I
realized that I was just full of shit.
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Okay?
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It was, I dunno, was it 2009?
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I was standing in front of a, a
room full of entrepreneurs giving
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this polished presentation.
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I was an experienced speaker, I
believe it was, it was entitled The
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Seven Steps to Unstoppable Success.
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I had the slides, I had all my stories.
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I had my perfectly timed.
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Pauses.
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I even looked the part.
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Okay.
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Maybe my long hair was, long Hair
was a little outta place, but
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you know what I'm talking about.
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But inside, yeah, that
was a different story.
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Inside I was dying, you see,
three months earlier, my second,
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or was it my third business?
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Had imploded, not failed, imploded,
and I lost everything again.
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The house, the savings, the confidence.
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I was 47 years old starting over
for the third time, and here I was
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standing in front of a group of
people teaching them how to succeed.
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Ah, ah.
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Can you say the words cognitive distance.
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That cognitive dissidence was
crushing me after the presentation.
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This young woman, probably in her early
thirties, reminds me of my daughter today.
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She came up to me with
tears in her eyes, no joke.
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She was literally weeping.
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She says, thank you for showing me that.
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It's possible.
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I have been stuck in my corporate
job for eight years, and
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you have just given me hope.
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Pow.
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That's when it hit me.
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She wasn't inspired by my success.
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She was inspired by my humanity, by the
fact that I was still fighting, that I
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was still trying, that I was still getting
up, dusting myself up and getting back
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at it every time I got knocked down.
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That night I went through and threw away
just about every polished presentation I'd
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ever created, and I had a number of them.
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I decided if that's what's going
to help people, that I'm gonna be
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telling them the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth.
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Even the parts that made me look like
I didn't quite have it figured out,
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you know what they say, warts and all.
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Especially those parts.
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So here are the five reasons you
should probably ignore everything I'm
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about to tell you and why each one at
the same time kind of makes me more
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qualified to guide you through your
escape plan than most other folks.
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Reason number one.
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I don't have a rags to riches story.
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I wasn't born poor.
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I didn't couch surf on anyone's
couch over years of my life.
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I didn't discover success
at 19 and retire at 25.
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Nope.
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I'm just a middle class military kid who
became a corporate marketing and inventory
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director, and I made some decent money.
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I had a corner office for a while.
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I drove a nice car from the outside.
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Many folks would tell you.
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He's made it, but inside I was
suffocating the real stories, my friends.
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I don't think it's in the
rags to richest stories.
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It's riches to meaning stories.
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You know, it, it's, it's trading the
golden handcuffs for actual freedom.
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And if you're listening to this
show, chances are you're not
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starting from zero either, are you?
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No.
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Right.
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Most folks that are listening to this
show have something in their pocket.
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You're starting from somewhere that
might look successful to other people.
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Maybe even to yourself,
but it still feels empty.
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Yeah.
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Some of you're nodding your head with me
right now, like it would bear with me.
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That right there, that's a different
kind of prison and it requires
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a different kind of escape plan.
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Okay.
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Reason number two, I. Yep.
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Here it comes.
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I have failed way more
than I have succeeded.
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Yeah.
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Here's what those highlight reels that
you see on TikTok will not show you.
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I've started seven.
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I think it's seven.
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Seven businesses, three completely
failed, two barely broke even.
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And one made decent money,
but it killed my marriage.
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But if I'm honest, that
marriage wasn't right for me.
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Anyway.
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But that's, that's a whole
nother podcast episode.
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Only one.
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The current one actually aligns.
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With who I am, with, who I am proud to be.
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Most gurus will tell you about
their wins every day, all day long.
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I want to tell you about my losses because
that's where the real education lives.
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Sure, there's some education in the
wins, but the real education that
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deep down change your world education.
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Comes from the losses.
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When my first consulting business fell
on its face, I learned that passion
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without systems is just expensive therapy.
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When the second one imploded,
I learned that success without
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alignment is just a prettier prison.
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We've talked about that
before around here, have we?
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Mm-hmm.
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Those failures, they weren't really
failures, they were setbacks, right?
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There were setups for a comeback.
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They were education, expensive and
painful, but necessary education.
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Reason number three, I still
have a day job sort of.
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Okay.
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I'm not typing this
from my yacht in Monaco.
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Nope.
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Nope.
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I don't have a team of 47
virtual assistants, not even
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a team of AI assistants.
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I still do client work, and
I still have bills to pay.
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Here's what that means for you.
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I understand the transition.
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I know what it's like to build
something while you're still
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trapped in something else.
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I know the fear of leaving
security or uncertainty.
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Yeah.
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Most of the people teaching
escaped nine to five haven't really
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worked a nine to five, especially
not for a long period of time.
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They, most of them that I have seen have
went from college to entrepreneurship.
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They never experienced the real soul
crushing reality of corporate life.
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I have for more than 20 years.
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I know what it feels like to die a little
bit each and every day in the job that
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pays you okay, but kills your spirit.
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Yeah.
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Reason number four, I don't
follow my own advice sometimes.
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Sorry, this being real
with you last month.
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Spent maybe three days doom scrolling
on social media instead of working on my
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project, my book, my course, my lessons,
my podcasts two weeks ago, I skipped my
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morning routine for 14 days straight.
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Yeah, I did.
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And yesterday, I think it was
yesterday, maybe it was the day before
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yesterday, I ate reheated Pizza.
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For lunch, I'm not perfect.
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I'm not disciplined 24 7 365, and
I do not have superhuman willpower.
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But here's the thing.
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I know how to get myself back on track.
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I know the difference between a
temporary setback and a permanent
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failure, and I know how to forgive
myself, get myself up and start again.
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That's not a weakness that my
friends is a superpower because
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life isn't about never falling down.
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Everyone falls down.
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That's how you learn to walk.
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It's about getting really good at propping
yourself back up, dusting yourself back
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off, sometimes wiping the cock off your
face and taking that next step forward.
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And reason number five, I can't
promise you that you'll get rich.
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Nope.
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Sorry.
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You've come to the wrong place.
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I can't promise that you'll
make six figures in six months.
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Nope.
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And you'll never see me
say anything like that.
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I can't promise that you'll retire early.
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I can't promise that you will
never, ever have to work again.
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I can promise you this.
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If you follow the principles that I teach,
you'll build something that's yours.
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You'll wake up excited about what it
is you're doing, who it is you're doing
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with, instead of dreading it, you'll
have more control over your time, your
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life, your relationships, your income.
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And your impact.
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You might not be rich, but you'll be free.
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And for most of us, that's
worth more than money.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Look, if you're still listening,
how many minutes we are into this,
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it means you're probably tired of
the polished BS that's out there.
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You want someone who's been in the
trenches, who's got muck on his
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face, who's made the mistakes, and
who's willing to tell you the real
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ass truth even if it's not pretty.
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That's exactly what you'll get in my
newsletter, the Unleash Your success DNA.
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Every week I share real strategies,
miss failures, and hard won insights
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that actually work for people like you,
people like me, people like us, the ones
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who are building something meaningful
while still having to pay the damn bills.
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No hype, no false promises, just
truth tactics, and occasional
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kick in the ass when you need it.
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And of course, a pat on the back.
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Okay.
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Sign up@yoursuccess.com because.
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If you're choosing Escape the Matrix, you
need a guide that's actually been there,
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just saying, okay, now here's why I think
this matters at, at a, at a bigger level.
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We're living in an age of
manufactured authenticity.
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Yes.
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Some of you are nodding.
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Some of you're like,
what do you mean Tracy?
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Everyone's got a personal brand.
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Everyone's got a story.
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Everyone's got a story to tell.
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Everyone's selling you the dream.
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But what we are really hungry for is the
truth, the real, messy, complicated get.
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Real with me, Tracy.
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Truth.
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The personal development industry
has over the past few decades
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become this fantasy factory selling
people the idea that transformation
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is easy, that success, yeah.
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It's inevitable that all you need is
the right mindset and everything will
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just fall into place like Jenga blocks.
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M, that's not just wrong.
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I think it can be harmful because
when people don't see instant results,
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they start to blame themselves.
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Worse yet, they might even think
they're broken or that they're not
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trying hard enough, or maybe that
they don't have inside of them what
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it is it takes to be successful.
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I don't think any of that's true.
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The truth is transformation.
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It's hard building something
meaningful takes time and guts and
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bloody knuckles and sweat and tears.
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The ones that are most qualified
to guide you are the ones who have
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struggled and they kept going anyway.
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The ones who have stumbled and bumbled
and fell and face planted right down
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into the horse shit, and then stood
up, wiped it away, maybe even laughed
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at themselves, looked at what went
wrong and started making corrections.
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The people most qualified to guide you
aren't the ones who've never struggled.
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Starter ones who struggled and kept going.
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Anyway, so lemme give you your
whispered wisdom for today.
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Your sticky lesson for today is
stop looking for perfect mentors and
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start looking for the honest ones.
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The person who can best help you isn't
the one who has it all figured out.
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It is the one who's willing to
share what, what they have figured
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out and what they are still.
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Figuring out in order to help you figure
it out, your specific action for this
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week, identify one area where you've
been seeking out that perfect advice.
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You know what I'm talking about?
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He says with air quotes, that perfect
advice or where you have been waiting
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for that right mentor to come along.
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Instead, find someone who's one step
ahead of you, two or three steps ahead
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of you, and that person is willing to
share their real world experiences with
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you, warts and all, because the path to
your success isn't paved with gold and
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bricks, and it's certainly not paved
with other people's highlight reels.
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It's built on honest conversations,
hard work, and about what actually
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works out there in the real world.
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Okay, so.
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All that said, I can't promise
you that following my, my advice
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will make you rich, will make you
famous, or will make you instantly
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successful, confident, loving,
adored by the masses, none of that.
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What I can promise you is that it will
make you more honest with yourself
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about yourself and about what you really
want and what it takes to get there.
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And sometimes that honesty is the
first step towards the freedom.
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You're probably really looking for.
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So stop waiting for permission.
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Stop looking for the perfect plan
and start building something that's
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yours, one honest step at a time.
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With that, I'm gonna leave you as I always
do, think successfully and take action.


















